She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
