jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
