I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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