i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
