he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
