look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
