We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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