I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
