I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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