i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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