dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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