Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
