K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you had me at cake vodka
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
