i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
