Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
