Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
