Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
