It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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