he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
