After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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