I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
