Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We just shotgunned beers for America
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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