every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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