I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
