I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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