I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
