She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
