guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
