I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
