forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
