If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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