jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
