hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
