i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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