I looked at my own cervix.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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