I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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