eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
