I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My liver just had a heart attack.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
