dude i'm inner monologue high
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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