tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
