Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
