got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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