I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
