420 ftw
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
