am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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