Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
