How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
