Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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