Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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