my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
