But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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