Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
