She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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