We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
