i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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