just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
