I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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